Evolution and Beliefs

Evolution: I used to hurricane my way through life. Crushing to-do lists was my jam. Gathering experience and creating evidence of my talents and capabilities were my priorities. Working my way to the very top (wherever that is) was my goal.

When people would ask me for my time, I’d feel responsible to say yes without question and give it all away. I’d overfill my schedule and, consequentially and often unconsciously, resent each person on my calendar who I didn’t actually want to talk to (as if I hadn’t been given the opportunity to kindly decline). This led to regularly cancelling on people last minute when I realized the commitment was impossible to uphold (or not mine to hold in the first place).

I felt out of control.

All of the time.

And I thought that was normal.

I lived by dated words and stories like, “hustle hard”, “fake it ‘til you make it”, and almost proudly carried the belief that it takes years and years of “hard” work, paying your dues, and unlimited sacrifice to create something truly meaningful.

Is that truth? Where did I get these ideas? Why did I tell these stories to myself? Why did I repeat them aloud? Whose stories are these?

These are not my truths.

They are not my stories.

These are no longer my beliefs.

And something in my heart tells me these aren’t really your beliefs either.

We’ve all heard these stories and have seen them reflected back to us by the various characters, conversations, shows, movies and commercials we’ve experienced and participated in over the course of our lives... and have likely, without even realizing or questioning the reasons why, held onto these stories as our own beliefs.

These are the stories around work, effort, and career that swirl around in our culture(s). But do they serve us? Are they true?

Grueling days, late nights and too much caffeine. Skipping meals, workouts, and time with friends and family. Prioritizing my work and career above all else - responding, “I’m crazy busy” with almost an exasperated victim-like sigh to every person who asks how I am doing.

Wasn’t I doing that to myself?

Yes.

Was anyone forcing me to live this way?

No.

Is there power in that realization?

Fuck yes.

I was desperately trying to control the uncontrollable. What I was actually doing was distracting myself from facing and feeling into the hurricane swirling in my inner world underneath the surface.

Our beliefs are behind every single one of our actions. In turn, our actions influence others’ beliefs. Their beliefs then influence their own actions, and so the cycle continues and begins again.

For leaders (and yes, we are all leaders — more on that later), this means your beliefs are continually influencing and impacting the company you keep.

Think: at work, at home, everywhere.

We need to get to the root of our beliefs if we desire to address our actions and behavior. Our actions and behavior make up the content of our days. To quote Ari again: how we live our days is how we live our lives.

Inspiring beliefs lead to inspired actions.

Uplifting beliefs lead to uplifting actions.

Beliefs that align with who we are lead to actions that align with who we are.

I first learned about the self-fulfilling belief cycle three years ago from my dear friend Ari Weinzweig, co-founder of Zingerman’s and the Zingerman’s Community of Businesses during a Zing Train session on creating a Vision of Greatness. I’m currently taking a Zing Train MasterClass with Ari and Maggie Bayless called “Managing Ourselves” and as we dive into beliefs as part of the work, I am reminded again at just how much my own beliefs have transformed over the past three years.

I believe that taking care of myself first and foremost allows me to better serve those around me in my life. I believe that investing in myself is imperative for me to invest in others. I believe in the power of my gut (intuition) over my mind and saying yes ONLY to that which lights me up. I believe that my time is valuable and isn’t for everyone. This means that if you are in my life or on my calendar, I have intentionally made space for you, you are valuable to me and I will be fully present and there with and for you. I believe that the right work comes to us when we are living in alignment with our values. I believe that more often than not, taking time to do nothing is the most productive thing I can do. I believe that I am a more effective leader today than I ever was before because of my new beliefs.

And I believe that I am attracting the right people into my life that I’ve always wanted surrounding me because of these new beliefs.

I believe that we are born with this innate wisdom and it’s our job to observe, explore and kindly question what beliefs we’ve consciously and unconsciously accumulated over the years from witnessing the ways of the world.

Are our beliefs serving us and those we serve?

What beliefs do you have that leave you feeling contracted?

Let them go. Transform them into something new.

Which beliefs leave you feeling expanded?

Hold on to the ones that empower you.

What is coming up for you in this moment? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Beliefs will be a topic discussed on my podcast The Edit. Do you want to take a deeper dive and evolve with me? The show launches on Spotify on 3/30.

Ps: I believe in you.